When I first started my blog, I strictly had it in my head that I was going to write and post a new entry at least once a week.
That didn’t happen.
I also had it in my head that life was amazing, and I thought that positive energy would carry into the new fall semester: I had successfully finished the fashion internship of my dreams. I had moved on from an intense previous heartbreak, and was talking to somebody new that I really liked. I had my best friends closest to me, and we were all ready to take on the new semester.
But once I got back on to campus, reality hit me like a truck. Most of my expectations of what I thought would happen this semester went completely south. Some of the hardships I’ve experienced were in my control, but some of them also were not. And it hasn’t been easy.
I don’t necessarily want to make this post all about me and how busy or difficult my semester has been. The real reason behind me writing this is actually to address the fact that almost everyone I’ve spoken to lately has agreed: these past few months have been extremely difficult, in everyones own individual way. Sometimes, the difficulty lies in tangible things, such as stress from work. But what I’m referring to in this post are more about in relation to others. In the patterns I’ve seen in people around me, a lot of difficulty has come down to life pushing everyones limits lately, placing them in uncomfortable situations with the intention of learning and growing.
In life, there are a good amount of things that you can control. But, with that said, some things that happen are also inevitable, as dictated by the universe.
And yes, I am saying some of the bad things that we do as humans are meant to happen.
An important thing I feel us as humans need to learn, is to surrender. We need to learn that while some situations may be avoidable, that does not mean every bad situation is to be avoided: those are where the lessons lie. And thats not a pass to say that you shouldn’t try to always be the best version of yourself. But what I am saying is, shit happens.
Sometimes, you get hurt. And there’s plenty advice out in the world for when your the one who didn’t do anything wrong. But what about the advice for when you hurt others? Or you fail to do a task? When YOUR at fault?
We’re not meant to live this life to be perfect. And while that’s a cliché phrase that everyone is aware of, it’s honestly not one that enough people truly understand and practice. I mean, look how fast some of us are to beat ourselves up once we make a mistake.
Life will not always play out the way you intend it to: some instances are just out of your control, and are meant to happen. And while some of those instances may be harmless (like me not sticking to my goal of writing every week), some may be more severe and cause you to hurt yourself or others.
I know I don’t need to tell you that it’s okay to feel guilty — because I’m sure you already do. Guilt happens in an instant once we know we did something wrong. But, surrender to the fact that you are human. None of us are perfect, and you don’t have to be. Humans make mistakes. Sometimes, repeated mistakes. And that’s okay. Understand that you are most likely going to feel guilty as a result, because your a good person. And then, understand that even though guilt and regret is intense, some of these unavoidable mistakes are blessings in disguises. As quoted in my favorite podcast Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations, the divine Miss Maya Angelou says “when you know better, you do better”. Click here to find the episode – it’s truly worth the listen.
I’m here to tell you that after that guilt period, the growing happens when you:
- Acknowledge what happened and understand what the lessons are (read more about this here)
- Tell yourself that now you know better (remember what Maya Angelou said) and,
- Forgive yourself – even if others don’t forgive you. Their forgiveness is out of your control, but yours is in your control. And remember no matter how big the mistake was, you are still worthy of love, forgiveness and happiness.
Rock bottom truly does teach you some lessons that being on top, never could. I’m here to tell you that if you’ve messed up in any area of your life, no matter how big the mistake was, we’ve all been there. Myself included. And it’s okay to forgive yourself: no mistake will ever make you unworthy of forgiveness, happiness, and peace of mind.
I truly do recommend you all listen to Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations podcast, which I probably will write about in a future post. This specific episode not only changed my perspective and opened my eyes, but can probably do the same for you all. Click here to find the podcast. Sending you all my love, positivity and hugs.